I tackle this subject first as it was the easiest of all of them.
The house we live is an old cottage and space is at a premium. We have been decluttering for 2 years now and each year we feel able to let go of new things. There is still work to do in this area and we will all be focussing on what we need, what we have and what we no longer want in our lives. This is not an excuse to create a wishlist of what we want but to get on with our vision we need to deal with the past and set ourselves free from the stuff we have accumulated over the years.
Each child has a room that is their own and we will not influence what is happening in that domain. The exception is that each person will be responsible for their stuff and other people's stuff that is stored in their room needs relocating. This should give each child the power over their own space and a chance to individually express how they best use that space.
It sounds simplistic but as an example I can tell you that my youngest has boxes on the top of his wardrobe that do not belong to him, the hanging space in his wardrobe hosts old clothes not looked at in years, the chest belongs to his sister who visits regularly and the books on his shelves have been left there by his older brother. You can see that from his point of view, there is little room left to make his own mark on the space.
We have given each person permission to look through stuff and if they do not want it in their own space to deal with it in different ways, give the stuff to the person it belongs to and tell them to deal with their own stuff, sort the rest, reuse, recycle or bring to adults to discuss.
This process will be done by all over the next 2 months and should result in clear spaces and then an individual project as to how they want their space to fit their visions.
It is also likely to test relationships and require each of us to use communication skills and exercise compassion , patience and restraint.
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