Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Reinard leaves a message

A Red Fox Peers Through Foliage by Phil Schermeister
A Red Fox Peers Through Foliage

Dear woman in the cottage,

As you have been winding down your gardening activities I have been watching you from behind the compost heap. I overheard you mention that you would be moving and that the chickens would be moving out too. I thought you had gone already as not much has been happening so I thought a swift take away might be in order.

I do so prefer free range. When the chooks were cooped up in the hen tractor, it was a lot more difficult for me to get my dinner sorted. I have my pick of young and old pheasant, lost rabbit but I have to say for variety in my diet a chicken has not been easy to come by. I can hear about 500 of them in the battery place up a mile but that is a dangerous place to go and the smell is enough to put you off. I really applaud you for having gone free range and feeding yours organic feed stuff. ( I am all for organic). I have been watching and waiting every day until after lunch when you have let them go out.

You did not know it was me. I was silent, I was clean ( only left a small wing behind) and thanks to the tasty experience I thought I would come back for my next dinner. Shame I met your husband on his way to feeding the chickens. I was hiding but we looked into each others eyes and he startled me when he clapped his hands.

Woman, its colder now, I am getting hungry and now that roaming the countryside is easier for me I hope you will not mind if I come by from time to time to enjoy a free range bird or 2. I promise to be clean, quick and only take one at a time ( what do you hold me for, some hooligan! Give me some credit here and respect)

I took your message on board, LESS IS MORE!

Will be missing you,
( and the ready organic meals).


Reinard Fox.

Dear Mr Fox,

However beautiful your coat and eyes, my husband and I are not against wildlife trespassing the garden ( as Badger, the squirrels and pheasants do) as long as their passing does not impact on our way of life. We want to thank you for dealing with stray pheasants and rabbits as part of your natural diet but cannot say that we are pleased that you have taken one of our chickens. The chicken deserved better. ( Even a quick,selective and silent take away is still daylight robbery!)

Please do not come back for any more chickens even though you have congratulated us on the plumpness and the taste. ( Is your middle name sly?)

Be warned, our black dog is on patrol.
Good luck over the winter period.

Best wishes

all at BerryCottage
PS - I hear the new occupants have guns so am afraid they may not take lightly to trespassing.


Mark said...

Hi Anne,
I knew you were at one with nature, but i didn't know you could converse with it...do foxes use normal mail or e-mail.
Seen you on Blogrush yesterday so it does work.
Did you enjoy the podcast???

Cheers Mark

Downshiftingpath said...

Hi Mark
Pigeon post preferable for foxes although the pigeons are generally not keen ( laughing!).
Not listened to the podcast yet but looking forward to it.
I could not resist writing this post, it just begged to be written for the blog. Glad you enjoyed it.